amateur turned pro crier: a hero's journey
a new, honest, free way of living
welcome to brb crying, a weekly newsletter where two thirty-something teenagers talk about what made them cry. laugh along as we dive into what moves us to tears (movies! books! personal stories! tbh anything is fair game!) and why crying helps us connect with ourselves and each other. check out the pod for more.
💌 dear diary reader: a love note from arns
as the co-host of a future award-winning podcast about crying, this may be hard to believe…but not too long ago, i was a shitty crier.
like most people, if i ever felt the tears coming on in public, i’d either 1) subtly dab at my eyes, or 2) apologize profusely for making anyone uncomfortable. if i was at home in the middle of a blazing argument, tears of fury threatening to spill from my eyes, i’d stamp down my hurt and talk myself out of it. my anger and pain were dramatic. irrational. inconvenient.
from what i understood, this was just how life was, and how it would always be.
then late last year, i came across a book (which i of course covered on the pod—do you even know me??) that slapped me across the face a couple times before turning my life upside down. it made me realize that suppressing my feelings wasn’t equivalent to overpowering them; it was just leaving me numb.
turns out, if you never let yourself sob or scream or rage, nothing really hurts, which is pretty cool! but nothing ever feels incredible, either. on the rare occasions when it does, the high is fleeting.
and in this space of limited feeling, my life felt more like a somewhat-stressful-but-generally-pleasant fate i was resigned to rather than an exhilarating, magical, awe-inspiring journey where i set the course. i wasn’t just numb, i was trapped—and suddenly, i couldn’t take it anymore. i was suffocating and needed to get out, now.
i wasn’t just numb, i was trapped—and suddenly, i couldn’t take it anymore. i was suffocating and needed to get out, now.
so i did. after nearly 3 decades of being called calm, even-tempered, never angry (a “good” thing) but also—confusingly—way too sensitive (a “bad” thing), i finally gave myself permission to sob and scream and rage. no judgment, no labels; just feelings. and once those floodgates were opened, the tears just kept flowing.
it was one of the best things i ever did for myself and still do for myself. every time i let my emotions course through me, i present myself with a gift. a little affirmation, if you will. your feelings—no matter how insignificant—are valid. your feelings deserve to be felt. your feelings deserve to take up space.
if tapping into your emotions is nbd, child’s play, easy peasy: i truly, truly love that for you. fuckin keep at it, dude. and keep spreading the good word.
but if it’s a challenge, as it is for most of us—i hope this opens your eyes to a new, honest, free way of living, a new world of possibility. life can be different, if only we’re willing to face it.
🍯 short n sweet
📺 NINS WATCHED: this instagram post from @morecorecore of artist zarky’s animation dedicated to the love of his life jade
who needs all the answers to the multi-verse when we we have this love here and now?
🔥 slow burn
📺 ARNS WATCHED: pixar’s elemental
this was a heavy recommend by my sister mios and brother-in-law bryant. disney and pixar’s first ever true romcom follows fiery, brash Ember and her budding romance with watery, crybaby Wade (he cries at the drop a hat—the dream, really) in an elemental city where fire and water simply don’t mix. sprinkle in some immigrant trauma and you have an absolute sleeper of an animated film.
🌱 community
👋🏼 COME HANG OUT @ UNDISCOVERED SF
for those of you in the bay, we’ll be at Undiscovered SF next saturday, october 19 from 12-6pm. AAPI/conscious consumerism brand kurated kultura (owned by arns’ sister, alexa) has graciously invited us to hang at their self-care themed booth.
tickets are free—come say hi!
🎧 pod drop
i’m sorry, did we do it again? why yes, yes we did. some highlights from ep 014: parents are people? / hammy pt 1…
✨ ARNS IS DISTRAUGHT OVER THE TENDER WORDS OUR PARENTS LEAVE UNSPOKEN
this week, arns sobs about fatima farheen mirza’s a place for us. (any sort of content that humanizes our parents WILL destroy us, guaranteed.) watch a clip here:
we have to meet our parents where they are. they’re not going to change…even if we don’t forgive them for hurting us, for our own peace of mind, we have to accept that. and there’s a grieving, there’s a mourning that happens. even if these words are never uttered by our own parents, to hope this is what they would’ve thought, what they would’ve said…it’s such a gift.
✨ NINS REVEALS OUR EMBARRASSINGLY MILLENNIAL MUSICAL TASTE
nins brings us back to act 1 of hamilton, the musical that plagued our lives for literal years. she’s watched it more times than she can count (annoying!), but this was her first time enjoying it as a professional feelings-feeler. and that shit hurt.
that’s it. that’s all we got. we can’t wait to hear from you. ok bye love you!!!
in shambles,
nins & arns