when the quest for a long sleeve shirt spirals into merch
at the heart of it all: a radical take on self-care
welcome to brb crying, a weekly newsletter where two thirty-something teenagers talk about what made them cry. laugh along as we dive into what moves us to tears (movies! books! personal stories! tbh anything is fair game!) and why crying helps us connect with ourselves and each other. check out the pod for more.
💌 dear diary reader: a love note from arns
fall is upon us, crybabies. normally this is cause for celebration, but i unfortunately have an ultra-urgent, mega-important first world problem: i don’t have a long sleeve shirt.
this isn’t a new issue. i’ve known this. it’s been on the periphery of my mind for years, creeping into view every october, when darkness falls earlier in the evening and the slight breeze turns into a brisk chill and golden leaves crunch beneath our steps. stop complaining about being too hot or too cold and get a goddamn long sleeve shirt already.
reasonable people would just……buy a long sleeve shirt. but reason eludes me. (if i were reasonable, would i embark on a podcast with my bff while working full-time and raising a toddler?? would i????)
so, i did what any unreasonable person would do: use it as an excuse to make merch.
a few months ago, my sister alexa—lexypoop for short—approached nins and me about doing a collab with her AANHPI, self-care focused brand kurated kultura. we tossed around ideas for merch. a crop top, perhaps? maybe a cute sweatshirt?
rather than engaging in a discussion and coming to a mutual agreement, i forced the idea of long sleeves down their throats. mostly because i’m a selfish bitch, but also because it was an objectively cute idea (fight me on this!). and since i gave them no choice, much to my delight, they obliged.
as it turns out, designing shirts that captured both kurated kultura and brb crying’s brand messaging was the easy part. crying. self-care. crying is self-care! the hard part? drilling down into the why. why even make merch in the first place? what good would our merch serve?
after extensive spiraling, we arrived at the following:
self-care is more than just massages, skincare, and exorbitantly priced essential oils sold by mormon moms. self-care also means holding yourself accountable to work through your hard feelings.
traversing through these hard feelings and healing journeys is something we usually do in private. being so vulnerable in front of others is far too daunting.
but—as with most hard things, emotional and mental health struggles are so much more bearable when you have a community to lean on.
it might feel tricky when your loved ones aren’t the type to talk about feelings. but once you start vocalizing your struggles, you’ll find that the real ones stick around. it might take some time, but your healing is more important than their discomfort.
if you’re at a loss for where to start, maybe a cute long sleeve shirt broadcasting your feelings can help spark that conversation.
and so: what started out as a hunt for a long sleeve shirt turned into an inspired merch collab, which then morphed into an opportunity—a privilege, really—to talk about crying as a form of self-care.
we’ll be chatting about this more in the coming weeks (both here and on socials), so stay tuned. 💗
P.S. i fully realize i spent this whole blurb talking about a shirt that i didn’t even fucking link. that’s because it’s still in the works 🙈 but as a subscriber, you’ll be the first to hear about it…and if you visit us at undiscovered SF this saturday, october 19, you might get a sneak peek :’)
🍯 short n sweet
👰🏻 ARNS WATCHED: bride secretly learns armenian for vows
this bride surprised her groom by studying armenian for 10 weeks leading up to their wedding and busting it out during her vows. his utter shock = our immediate tears.
🔥 slow burn
🦈 NINS READ: shark heart by emily habeck
in the first year of Lewis & Wren’s marriage, Lewis receives a devastating diagnosis: he will gradually transform into a great white shark.
listen, i know that sounds fucking crazy and weird, but when i tell you it was the most profound and beautiful story about what it means to love someone for everything they are, everything they’re not, and everything they have yet to become…..get your tissues ready babes, we’re about to cry oceans.
🌱 community
👋🏼 COME HANG OUT @ UNDISCOVERED SF
for those of you in the bay, we’ll be at undiscovered SF this saturday, october 19 from 12-6pm. AANHPI/conscious consumerism brand kurated kultura (owned by arns’ sister, alexa) has graciously invited us to hang at their self-care themed booth.
tickets are free—come say hi!
🎧 pod drop
we can hardly believe it ourselves, but it’s true: we came out with another episode. some highlights from ep 015: hammy pt 2 / death to our 20s…
✨ NINS WRAPS UP OUR HAMILTON TOUR OF TEARS
the people will hear from nins one last time (until next week). tune in as nins holds our hand through act 2 of hamilton. this is arguably the sadder half of the musical (“one last time”? “burn”?? “it’s quiet uptown”???), so buckle up.
“alexander hamilton is remembered in history as a person who was larger than life. a force to be reckoned with. his life was big and full and loud. but…your own life doesn’t need to big and full and loud to be just as significant and just as worthy of being remembered.”
✨ ARNS REMEMBERS TO LOVE EVERY VERSION OF HERSELF
ever come across a piece of literature so tender in its intention yet so cheeky in its delivery? and you’re like, god, i wish i wrote that?
for arns, this was the center spread of her sister mios’ zine, the liminal spaces. “in loving memory” is a metaphorical obituary paying tribute to her 20s—and it’s a reminder to hold our past selves with reverence, always.
that’s it. that’s all we got. we can’t wait to hear from you. ok bye love you!!!
in shambles,
nins & arns